Jane McDonald couldn't help but break down into tears as she paid tribute to her fiancé Ed Rothe on her return to Loose Women.
The 58 year old lost her other half in March this year, sharing at the time that he had been battling lung cancer for a few months.
Now, returning to the ITV programme for the first time in two years, Jane has opened up on how grateful she is to have been with Ed.
"Now for the first time Jane joins us to talk about losing the love of her life, Eddie Rothe, as Loose legend Jane McDonald returns to Loose Women," Kaye Adams, 58, first introduced her.
"Hello, how are ya?" Jane responded as the panellists expressed how great it was to see her back on the show.
Jane, who had dated Ed as a teenager before reuniting in adulthood, immediately broke down into tears after seeing the montage of her late fiancé Ed on screen and hearing the kind words said by her friends on the programme.
"It's good to see you too," she began before bursting into tears and adding: "I'm so sorry…"
Later, Jane explained that she had 13 years of "absolute bliss" with Ed and said: "That's how I'm getting through it. I'm not thinking about the last six months because it's been horrendous."
"I'm thinking how grateful, how grateful I've been for such wonderful…" she continued before breaking down into tears for a second time.
She continued: "I'm not good at being sad, I'm not good at this. I'm not good at crying.
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"So every day when I wake up and get that thud, like someone's just hit me, I think, 'Are you going to go down the dark path? where you've been for the last year, or are you going to be grateful for everything you've got in your life and grateful for the time you had with him?'"
Jane went on to explain how difficult it was towards the end as she had to "have a crash course in nursing" as no one was allowed to take care of Ed during the pandemic.
She said: "Ryan, the lovely district nurse, came and showed me how to do everything. Because it was lung cancer, they were so afraid of him getting Covid-19 that I took over everything. That was a privilege.
"At first, I thought, 'How on earth am I going to do this?' but then you get a strength when you're nursing your loved one.
"It really is a privilege. I'm glad I did it."
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