When it comes to a specific style of sexting, everyone out there has a preference. Some people prefer graphic, Fifty Shades-like paragraphs, while others want to skip the emojis and get to the explicit pictures or videos. Some people like getting real kinky real fast, and others prefer to keep things a lil tamer.
And even though sexting is basically like a secret weapon to learning your partner’s fantasies and segueing into some excellent foreplay, it can be hard to figure out what exactly your partner is interested in.
So to help, we’ve solicited answers from six men on what they want, expect, and need from a sexting session (plus a bunch of other things about what’s going through their heads).
The next time you start entering sexting territory or feel stuck and need some inspo, there’s a good chance this will answer any and all questions you have about sending the sexiest of texts.
Okay, which app do you use to sext?
Man A: I don’t have anything particular. Just whatever I’m talking to her on. Usually Whatsapp.
Man B: Mostly Gchat.
Man C: Just good ol’ iMessage.
Man D: iMessage. You gotta go straight to the source.
Man E: I don’t really think about it ahead of time. Basically whatever we’re already talking on.
Man F: Let’s just say I don’t not use Slack…
What’s the best sext you’ve ever received?
Man A: A girlfriend went away on business for a month and we pulled up our webcams and did it that way. It was awesome.
Man B: It was a video where she was masturbating and calling out my name. It was insanely hot.
Man C: Once a girl sexted me after everyone else was asleep at a girls’ night, and really got off on doing that while her friends were all asleep around her. And an out-of-town hookup sometimes sexts me talking about our next meeting, and that’s always pretty fantastic.
Man D: “I’m so wet for you.” She was out with her friends and trying to convince me to meet up. It worked.
Man E: She described, in detail, a threesome she wanted to have with me and one of her really hot friends. I still think about that sext all the time.
Man F: She was at work. I was at work. We talked about the things we do on the desk at work.
Can you show us some examples of the hottest sexts?
Have you ever sexted in public?
Man A: No way. I think if I did everyone would notice how red my face was getting.
Man B: Yeah, for sure. I would never initiate it if I was out somewhere, but if the mood strikes her, I’m not going to turn something like that down.
Man C: A few times. Mostly during downtime at work, once or twice during class when I was still in school.
Man D: Of course. When you’re at the airport and trying to initiate things for when you land, you do what you gotta do.
Man E: Sure. I don’t like, take nudes or anything, but what I type on my phone is my business.
Man F: That’s usually when it happens.
Have you ever carried on a sexting convo while just going about your day, running errands, or whatever? Did you lie about your location to the person you were sexting?
Man A: I’ve tried to, but it’s tough to get things done and also focus on sexting. Sexting requires my full attention. If she has to wait ten minutes for me to say something hot because I’m ordering food or something, it kills the whole thing.
Man B: No. I have never spent a whole day out doing that, but if I’m still at work a bit late or about to get home, yeah, I will bend the truth a bit.
Man C: Well, yes and no. I have sexted while doing normal things like being at work or being at the grocery store, but I’m usually honest about where I am — that slight kink factor almost makes it more fun though.
Man D: No, I’ve never lied about where I’m at. I’m either in the airport bathroom or I’m not, but I’m gonna be truthful.
Man E: I’ve never lied about where I’m at, but I’ve absolutely sexted while going about my day.
Man F: Always. The location is what makes it hot.
Which do you prefer: receiving or sending sexts?
Man A: Receiving. Definitely getting a real hot sext.
Man B: Initially I would have said “receiving” but now that I think about it, I love sending them and knowing I’m turning someone else on in that way.
Man C: With the caveat that one ideally leads to the other, I like sending them. I pride myself on being a writer, and knowing that my words are having an immediate and primal effect on another person is a huge bonus to me.
Man D: I love sending pics and receiving written sexts. I like turning people on by showing what I got.
Man E: Receiving all the way.
Man F: I’m a give and take kind of guy.
Are you an honest sexter? Like if you say, “I’m so hard rn,” are you actually so hard rn?
Man A: I’ve definitely lied before, but just little white lies.
Man B: Generally, yeah. Unless I’m out or something but 90 percent of the time, I’m being honest.
Man C: Most of the time. Sometimes it’s not exactly practical to be walking around pitching a tent but I usually will tell the girl I’m not really feeling it at the moment.
Man D: Yes. And if I’m not feeling it, I find an excuse to cut things short.
Man E: I’ve embellished before, but I’ve never outright lied. Does that work?
Man F: Not always. I mean, most of the time. But when you’re talking about fantasy situations, it’s sort of hard to be 100% honest.
Have you ever faked a sext orgasm?
Man A: Yeah once or twice, if I was in public.
Man B: No way. It’s not like it’s difficult for me to not have an orgasm.
Man C: Not very often but sometimes I just wanna go to bed, you know?
Man D: No. That’d be hard since I usually show my finishing shot in the photo…
Man E: Faked it? No. There have been times when I haven’t orgasmed from sexting, but that’s not always the point. Sometimes it’s just to have fun.
Man F: Not a chance.
Do you think anyone’s ever faked a sext orgasm with you?
Man A: I don’t think so, no.
Man B: I hope not, but I really can’t say for sure. I would think if she’s doing it herself she can take care of things, you know?
Man C: I like to think that’s never happened, but sometimes other people just wanna go to bed too.
Man D: I don’t think so, but I’m a realist, so who knows?
Man E: Again, if they didn’t get off, I imagine they just didn’t say they got off. Otherwise, maybe my entire life is a lie.
Man F: I want to say not a chance, but I’m sure in my lifetime of sexting, one or two orgasms have slipped through the cracks.
Do you plan on living out your sexts IRL? Like, doing the things you sexted about with your partner when you see them?
Man A: Yeah, I would say a lot of my sexts are like, ‘I can’t wait to do this to you.’
Man B: I guess so? My sexts are pretty detailed and graphic but I wouldn’t say they’re ‘adventurous’ or out of the ordinary.
Man C: I usually do, depending on the partner and the conversation. Sometimes sexting with someone I haven’t actually been with before leads to awkwardness when actually doing the deed, but sexting with a partner can be a good warmup if we want to try something kinky.
Man D: My sexts are more of a “what are you doing now” kind of thing, so we’re sort of living it out in the actual moment.
Man E: Some of them, sure.
Man F: Considering a lot of them take place on my boss’s desk or in a random aisle of the grocery store, I’d say no…
Are you more or less adventurous via sext compared to IRL?
Man A: More adventurous, for sure. It’s not that I’m shy in person, but it’s definitely easier to type some of this stuff out and not say it.
Man B: I’m a very sexual person. I don’t think many people would be that surprised at how I sext.
Man C: Definitely more adventurous in sext.
Man D: I think it’s pretty equal. They’re on par with each other for sure.
Man E: I sext pretty much exactly how I talk/have sex IRL, so it’s the same.
Man F: I’m more adventurous via sext in the sense that I’m probably not actually going to get it on in the conference room of my office. I’d like to, but I’d also like to keep my job.
Would you ever sext with someone you’d never met in person?
Man A: I haven’t, and I think I’d have to know for sure I wasn’t getting catfished, but I’m not against the idea.
Man B: Yeah, and I have before. I have no problems with that.
Man C: Sure, isn’t that what the Internet is basically built on?
Man D: Of course.
Man E: Sometimes that’s the most fun.
Man F: Weirdly enough I don’t think I ever have. I would though. Anyone interested?
In sext pics, do you prefer full nudes or like, tease-y pics?
Man A: I like the pics that don’t show everything. It gets me excited to see them in person.
Man B: I love a good nude pic, especially something really out there and graphic that just puts it all out there. But not right away. I like being teased first.
Man C: Tease-y nudes are better—full nudity is best discovered in person.
Man D: I actually get more turned on by sending pics and receiving words. I send both but usually start with a tease.
Man E: I feel like both have their time and place.
Man F: I’m not picky.
Does it bother you if you can’t see someone’s face in a nude pic?
Man A: No, I don’t care about that.
Man B: It doesn’t bother me because I get why someone would do that. But I do prefer to see a face. It feels more intimate and personal.
Man C: I don’t have any real preference. Girls are usually more comfortable not showing their face in a nude, and I’m happy to accommodate that.
Man D: Nope, whatever my texter feels comfortable with is cool with me.
Man E: In a dream world, she’d include her face, but I also get it if she doesn’t feel comfortable. That’s not going to ruin the moment or anything.
Man F: Again—not picky. I’m not about to complain about any sext I get.
How do you feel about mirror selfie sexts?
Man A: The phone is almost always blocking the good bits.
Man B: I’m fine with them. Am I missing something? Is there a reason not to be?
Man C: I don’t see any reason to be picky about nudes a girl is taking for me.
Man D: They’re super hot. Kinda voyeuristic, you know?
Man E: They’re fine. Not the best, but definitely not a disappointment.
Man F: Yes, please. I’ll happily receive those.
Do you have a policy about keeping or deleting any nudes you exchange?
Man A: I usually delete them soon after. My greatest fear is accidentally pulling one up at the wrong time.
Man B: I don’t delete them but it’s also not like I’m backing them up, either. And I obviously don’t show them to anyone else.
Man C: I usually keep them unless the girl asks me to delete them.
Man D: I actually don’t really think about what happens to the ones I send. Should I? Shit.
Man E: I don’t save the pics and my phone deletes messages after like, 60 days I think, so once they’re gone, they’re gone.
Man F: If we talk about it and she wants me to delete them, sure I’ll delete. But if not, they’ll probably just be in my phone somewhere. I’m not going to show them to people but I’m not gonna go out of my way to get rid of them, you know? They’re art, and I appreciate good art.
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