I can't climax and I fear it is due to abuse as a teen I have never talked about | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: MY stepbrother abused me for the three years we lived together.

Now I’m having trouble climaxing with my first boyfriend, and I’m wondering if the two are related.  I’m 23, my boyfriend is 25.

I’m 32 now and this happened over a few months, when I was 17.

When I was 15, my stepdad and his son, then 16, moved in with me and my mum.  

He used to sneak into my bedroom at night and touch me underneath my pyjamas.

I must have blocked the memories out, as I didn’t remember this had happened until a new TV drama brought on flashbacks.  

My boyfriend waited to have sex until I was ready, but now we have, I can’t seem to orgasm.

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DEIDRE SAYS: This is a really difficult realisation to make and so it may help to speak to someone about how you’re feeling.

Reach out to the National Association for People Abused in Childhood (0800 085 3330, napac.org.uk) for confidential support.

Very few women can climax from intercourse alone – most need clitoral stimulation. But you’re right, you may have a mental block.


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Be open with your boyfriend and ask him to be patient while you work through what happened.

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