I don't understand how my thirteen-year-old daughter can be so certain she's gay

DEAR DEIDRE: SURELY my 13-year-old daughter is too young to really know – but she insists she is gay.

As her mum, I check her phone –  and saw a message she sent to a friend making clear she is gay.

It’s not that I mind about that, I just don’t believe she can possibly know for sure at her age.

I asked her about it the next day. She got upset and said it was true. She said she has a crush on a girl and told all her friends she’s gay months ago.

I’m 41 and am struggling with this. I feel crushed that she told all her friends about such a big thing but not me.

I blame myself and am worried she could be a target for school bullies.

Some people know from a young age they are gay.

Your daughter has no need to label herself yet but maybe she feels more comfortable being open.

Don’t feel rejected. Be glad she has friends she can talk to – that is the best protection against bullying – and tell her you are there for her too.

Contact FFLAG – Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays – to talk it all through (fflag.org.uk, 0845 652 0311).

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