‘My fella has late night booze dates with ex – is he enjoying more than friendship?’

Although we stay at each other’s places throughout the week, it’s his ex he rings first when he has news or something funny to report.

I’m not paranoid, but I know that she absolutely hates me.

She thinks it was disgusting of me to date so quickly after my husband’s death, but what business is it of hers?

Just because her new bloke works abroad doesn’t mean that she can nip in and commandeer mine at will, does it?

JANE SAYS: Lots of couples do remain friends after a split, it’s a desirable and mature way forward, especially if there are kids involved.

Of course your boyfriend is a free man and is entitled to be friends with anyone he likes, but if you get the feeling that he’s playing with you or that he’s getting some kind of ego boost pitching you and his ex-partner against each other, then do you need this stress?

I understand you like him and would like to make him your permanent partner, but maybe you’re trying to force something that isn’t a natural fit?

Maybe you did jump in a little too quickly after the death of your husband? Talk to your new partner today about how you’re feeling.

Make it clear that no-one likes to believe that they’re competing for affection or, even, second best.

Ask him to be honest about the true nature of his friendship with his ex.

Ultimately, if he insists that their friendship is innocent and non-negotiable – and you can’t cope with that – then maybe you need to take a break from each other.

What you can’t continue to do is torture yourself with fears and insecurity.

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