My penis becomes soft when I put on a condom – I feel like a letdown

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE no problem staying erect during foreplay but by the time I go to put a condom on my penis has become soft.

I’m a 34-year-old married man. My wife’s 32. We’ve been married for ten years and have three children.

Everything’s fine between us in our relationship but this problem started last month.

Foreplay is good but when the time comes to have full sex, I go soft.

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It’s creating huge disappointment for both of us and I feel such a letdown.

Is there any medication I can take for this?

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DEIDRE SAYS:  Your erection issues are most likely to be caused by anxiety, rather than you needing medication.

Ask your wife to put the condom on you, as the way she does it can excite you and help you keep your erection.

Practise with a condom as you pleasure yourself, when it won’t matter if you lose your erection.


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Experiment with different touches and speeds so you know exactly what to do if your erection goes down.

My support pack Solving Erection Problems explains more.

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