Okay, so when it comes to horny holidays, Thanksgiving may not be the first thing that comes to mind. Like, sure, there’s nothing particularly sexy about stuffing your face in front of your extended family in honor of 17th-century Puritans who, BTW, were not a particularly lewd and lascivious bunch. In fact, New Girl fans may recall that Thanksgiving lands dead last on Schmidt’s ranking of the sexiest holidays. But this, my friends, is actually a massive oversight. Beneath all the awkward small talk with relatives and the whole eating yourself into a stupor thing, Thanksgiving is actually ripe with horny potential.
I know, I know, but hear me out. Not only is Thanksgiving Eve literally one of the most sexually active nights of the entire year (hello potentially regrettable hometown hookups!), but this seasonal celebration also happens to fall smack dab in the middle of cuffing season, so obviously there’s a lot of friskiness in the air. Not to mention, there’s often a certain sexiness to be found in the unexpected. Like, there’s an extent to which Thanksgiving is kind of horny literally because it’s so obviously not, you know? FWIW, this is also why a lot of people are turned on by other seemingly unsexy things like, say, The Grinch. Our freaky little brains crave novelty and taboo, and what’s more novel and taboo than taking a wholesome family celebration of gratitude and turning it into a sex thing, am I right? (I’m right.)
To help you get into the horny spirit this holiday, we’ve graciously curated this collection of the sexiest (and okay, yes, mostly the silliest) Thanksgiving pickup lines, because yeah, Thanksgiving pickup lines are, in fact a thing. Still not convinced? Keep scrolling.
When you want to hop on their gravy train:
If you want to send a risky text from the dinner table:
If you want to show thanks in a more wholesome way:
And there you have it, folks—the best Thanksgiving pickup lines out there. Now go on and fill your plates.
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