England mocked after Ashes humiliation Down Under

‘In quarantine for 14 days… lost the Ashes in 12! RIP English cricket’: Humiliated England are mocked as a team of ducks in a string of memes and jokes on social media after Australia battered them to retain the urn

  • England hit rock bottom in Melbourne after surrendering the Ashes to Australia 
  • Joe Root’s tourists made a second innings total of 68 to lose by an innings  
  • Cricket fans have not passed up the opportunity to mock England’s demise
  • Ducks, wagon wheels and the Pink Panther feature in a variety of funny memes 

England hit rock bottom in Australia overnight, and cricket fans have not passed up the opportunity to mock the tourists’ demise Down Under.

The visitors slumped to a humiliating defeat on day three of the Boxing Day Test in Melbourne, bowled out for a pathetic 68 as Australia moved into an unassailable 3-0 lead and retained the Ashes in spectacular style.

Resuming play at 31 for four, Joe Root’s side needed 51 runs to avoid an innings defeat. Instead, the last six fell for just 22 runs as debutant Scott Boland took a barely believable six wickets for seven runs.

England’s 68-run total was their lowest score in Australia since 1904, putting into sharp focus the gulf in quality between the tourists and the world’s best Test sides.

And cricket fans have taken to social media to mock England with a variety of creative memes as Root and Co reel from the massacre in Melbourne. 

England hit rock bottom in Melbourne after capitulating in humiliating style against Australia

Cricket fans have mocked Joe Root’s side after they made just 68 runs to surrender the Ashes

Twitter user @wheelswordsmith pointed out that England’s players actually spent more days in quarantine after flying to Australia than they did playing cricket before losing the urn to their great rivals.

He wrote: ‘Spending 14 days in quarantine to lose the ashes in 12 is very very funny’. 

Meanwhile, nine of England’s batting line-up failed to register a double-figure total, while four players – Jack Leach, Dawid Malan, Mark Wood and Ollie Robinson – all scored ducks.

In fact, England have scored 54 ducks in Test cricket this calendar year, a record equalling total.

With that in mind, @GregBaum tweeted a photo of the ‘England team’ – simply comprising a group of ducks. 

Broadcasters now have all the latest technology at their disposal to present information to viewers, but nothing beats an old fashioned wagon wheel to highlight a batsman’s performance.

Fortunately, @harish_pareek07 managed to draw up one for all 11 of England’s players in Melbourne – a straight line from the crease to the pavilion. 

One fan used the Pink Panther to demonstrate England’s reliance on Root, who has scored 1178 runs more than any other England player this calendar year, while another mocked up the famous newspaper article following England’s very first defeat to Australia, changing the date to 28 December 2021. 

England’s demise in Melbourne represents a huge step backwards from the team that romped to victory in the 2010-11 Ashes series. Andrew Strauss’ side went onto become the World No 1 side, with the likes of Alistair Cook and Jonathan Trott dominating Test format.

Root was on the fringes of that squad but now he is surrounded by players of vastly inferior quality. One meme depicted the England skipper sat alone at a table where he had once been surrounded by Cook, Kevin Pietersen, Matt Prior and Ian Bell. 

To further highlight England’s horrifying performance, one meme demonstrated how Australia’s Marcus Harris made more runs (76) and stayed at the crease for more balls (189) than the entire England team for the second innings (68 runs from 166 balls).

Another Twitter user used a screenshot from the viral clip of a young Michael Owen repeatedly scoring past a teenage goalkeeper, changing the renowned caption of ‘well done, he’s 13’, to ‘well done, they average 13’.

Ultimately, it is the travelling Barmy Army who will be left scratching their heads most Down Under. 

One cricket page spared a thought for the fans in Melbourne with a meme of Come Fly With Me’s Peter and Judith, who – as the England supporters can attest – have had ‘the holiday from hell’. 

Australia captain Pat Cummins and his Ashes winners toasted their emphatic victory over England with beers on the MCG pitch on Tuesday.

Cummins said his side’s resounding Ashes victory was ‘what dreams are made of’ as he celebrated a famous triumph less than five weeks after being given the job.

England’s total capitulation was described as ‘gutless’ by The Sydney Morning Herald as the local press laid into the woeful tourists.

The Aussie skipper was quick to share the team’s celebrations to his 847,000 Instagram followers as he posted a picture of them toasting success on the MCG pitch.

They also rubbed salt into England’s wound by playing another game of cricket against their kids on the pitch after thrashing Joe Root’s side.

Speaking after his side thrashed their rivals by an innings and 14 runs in Melbourne, Cummins said: ‘Winning early on day three doesn’t happen at the MCG. It’s a fantastic result.

‘It’s what dreams are made of, how we played. It’s the first Ashes victory for a lot of guys and it doesn’t just feel like a 3-0 victory, it feels like we’re really setting ourselves up for the next few years as well.

‘It hasn’t fully hit me but when I think of what it means, I think more of what it means for us as a group of players. This really consolidates that we are a really good, strong cricket side.’




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