MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL chiefs are battling to persuade a tormented teddy bear to attend again – after his grizzly debut experience as a fan.
While Oakland Athletics knocked the stuffing out of Arizona Diamondbacks, one cuddly customer was left Fozzie-headed as the ball hit him flush between his big ears as he watched quietly from the stands.
The ball went faster than a polar express – sending the furry follower rocking back in his chair.
Luckily, his soft elephant pal was able to make a trunk call for help.
And medics specially trained in treating bears with sore heads dashed out to bandage him up.
Now looking more like legendary, battered England defender Teddy Butcher, the bear somehow continued spectating for the rest of the contest.
BEAR FOLLOWED ALL SOCIAL DISTANCING RULES
But he was so dazed that not a squeak was heard from him as the Diamondbacks too were left with a headache – pummelled 5-1 by a gem of a performance from the Athletics.
What was particularly unbear, sorry unfair, was that the tame teddy had stuck to all the coronavirus guidelines – in these times where human spectators have been replaced in baseball stadia by cardboard cut-outs.
He followed social distancing rules- remaining the regulation two Pooh sticks away from fellow fans at all times.
But even though it seemed a paw show all round, the TV co-commentators remained upbeat.
As the tittering twosome watched the bear suffer, they said: "Unbearable… "He's still smiling"… "I can't bear to watch."
And it looked like they had decided to panda to the lowest common denominator – by showing endless repeats of the teddy-tonking.
Maybe, though, the brave victim will be rewarded for his stiff-upper-lip attitude to adversity. After all, he who bears wins.
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