GRIEF-stricken Jack Tweed has found love again – 12 years after the death of his legendary wife Jade Goody.
The 33-year-old is dating an Essex girl he met on Instagram, but reveals his latest romance has already hit a bump in the road because he constantly compares every new woman to the late Big Brother star.
It is the first time Jack – just 21 when the couple wed – feels ready for romance since losing Jade to cervical cancer so tragically in 2009.
In an exclusive chat with The Sun on Mother’s Day – the anniversary of Jade’s death – he opens up for the first time about falling for his new love seven months ago and how tough it has been trying to move on.
“I’ve met someone. She's a really nice girl,” Jack reveals.
“We talk every day and it's probably the most serious I've been since Jade.
“It’s hard for me because I will compare it all with Jade. I will never forget about Jade.
“I know it's stupid to think about 'cause I'm never gonna get what I had with Jade again and I'm never going to find Jade again. It's impossible. I have to get out of my head.
“I hope it goes well, it's early days, but I like her a lot and would like to settle down again.”
The new couple had their first fall-out recently when Jack posted a tribute to Jade on the 12th anniversary of their wedding day.
Jack posted an image of him and Jade exchanging vows on Instagram saying: “12 years ago was this special day – I miss you.”
But grieving his lost love has led to drama with his new one.
“She's not talking to me at the moment because I put something up on Instagram and she said I should've warned her,” Jack says.
“I would feel guilty and horrible if I didn't acknowledge the days that are special to me though.
“Girls have said in the past: ‘Well you obviously don't like me and I'm not here to be compared to Jade. So let's just call it a day.’
“So, I’m just sort of waiting for that to happen with this one, basically. I compare everyone to Jade and it’s why I can’t settle down – they always dump me over it in the end.”
Jack dated Big Brother star Chanelle Hayes in 2011 for three years, but now admits it was a “big mistake” as he looked at her as a ‘Jade replacement.’
“I think she reminded me a little bit of Jade in lots of ways,” says Jack.
“I was trying to look for a replacement and I know that isn’t a nice thing to say but even to the point of where she lived – the actual house itself was just like Jade’s.
“It was the wrong thing to do because we were always arguing so much 'cause I didn't really wanna be with her.
“I just wanted the fairy tale and to feel like how I felt with Jade.”
Jack admits he desperately misses Jade’s sons Bobby 17, and Freddie, 16 – and even wishes they were his own children.
Now, he says he felt hugely betrayed [by their dad Jeff Brazier] when he was cut out their lives after Jade died.
“I’m not disrespecting Jeff or anything – but when Jade died, he was the hero and I was the villain,” Jack says.
“But I brought the boys up. All the boys’ life and memories of Jade are with me.
“But obviously I'm not their real dad, so I didn't expect Jeff to do anything different – I was getting myself into trouble, so it’s probably the right decision Jeff made.”
Jack admits that he still thinks about what might have happened if he and Jade had become parents.
The couple suffered their own heart-breaking baby loss after a miscarriage, months before Jade was diagnosed with cervical cancer.
“She was pregnant and we were going to have a kid. We lost the baby. “I do wonder what my life will be like now.
“And I do always wonder what my life would have been right now with the boys – I wish those boys were mine,” Jack admits.
“I brought them up until Jade died and I gave them £400,000 from my cut of our wedding deal for their education.
“I would have done anything for them – and I still would.
“I still talk to Bobby and Freddie, but I'm not involved in their life as much as I would like to be. I wish I could see them every day.”
The Big Brother star would have been so proud of her boys, following in her showbiz footsteps to land top name modelling deals, Jack adds.
“Jade would be so proud of Bobby and Freddie. I’m so proud of them both now,” he says.
“Bobby’s modelling career is going amazing – he will do so well in life. I think Freddie is thinking about doing it now too.
“Jade would be loving it. I've never known someone that loves their kids more than Jade did – she would do absolutely anything for them and she made every day special.
“Every single day, without fail, we would take them somewhere for a great day out.
“There's so much stuff that we've done together as a family I would just like to sit down and talk to them both about.
“We always bump into each other at the grave and stay there for a couple of hours and have a chat.
“I’m happy they’re older now and they can make their own decisions and I hope they want to see me more now.”
In a couple of weeks, Jack will pay tribute to his wife all over again on 22nd March, the anniversary of her death.
Jade passed away on Mother’s Day 2009 after a brutal battle with cancer.
But 12 years on, Jack says he can remember their wedding day like it was days ago.
“Honestly I can remember it like it was last month and I have got the worst memory. I can still hear her laughing and talking and crying. It doesn’t feel like it was 12 years ago.”
Jack says his fondest memories are of holidays with Jade and the boys.
“We would go out and be out until six in the morning – in some random club in the Bahamas. It was like going on holiday with your best mate.
“She was my best mate and I loved spending every second with her. There was nowhere I wanted to be apart from with Jade.”
Despite the fond memories, Jack says he still struggles to get Jade’s dying moments out of his head – describing them as ‘the worst thing you can ever experience.’
“Her last words were mumbled because she was really ill for the last few weeks,” he says. “I was by her side every single second. Nothing used to make sense. She deteriorated.
“Sometimes it’s hard to forget that side of Jade, that wasn’t Jade. That is the worst thing you can ever experience.
“Someone you love so much, deteriorating in front of your eyes and there is nothing you can do.
“It’s hard to get that out your head, I won’t lie. I want to remember the happy, bubbly, constantly laughing Jade.
“I am always talking about her, so she is never in the back of my mind. She is always in the front of my mind.
“Talking about her helps because it feels like she is still here.”
Jade would have turned 40 on June 5 this year – and Jack can’t believe it.
“She would have been 39 now. She would have been 40 this year. It doesn’t sound right.
“You can imagine what sort of party she would have had.
“She would have hired the biggest venue she could have hired and it would have been massive.”
Jack says he was portrayed as a villain as he mourned his wife – despite never taking a penny from her.
“I never got one penny. I wouldn’t have taken any money,” he says.
“Jade tried to buy me a flat when she was in hospital, five weeks before she passed away.
“She searched to find me one so that she would know I am alright. I had to force her not to do it.
“I had to ring her agent and say: ‘Don’t send Jade any money.’
“I bought her thousands of pounds of jewellery and I didn’t take any of that back. I didn’t want anything to do with the will.
“Everyone was saying I was with her for the money and that couldn’t have been more wrong. I didn’t even want to hear about the will. Even if anyone spoke to me about it, I would say: ‘It’s nothing to do with me.’
“We got paid a lot for the wedding. Jade tried to give me half of it – I told her agent to take mine and pay for the boys’ school fees. It was a lot of money, like £400,000.”
Jack has a rope necklace Jade used to wear that he cradles as a keepsake and wears occasionally for comfort.
“I have got little things, the candle, pictures. Her hospital bracelet. She used to wear this necklace. A bit of rope. It had a key on it with ‘Hope’ written on it. I have got that and I wear that sometimes.
“Apart from that, I got nothing that was worth any money.”
After Jade’s death, Jack struggled to live without her, going to prison, drinking heavily and spending £100 a day on cannabis.
Jack now vows he’s a changed man but still struggles with dark moments and depression.
“I didn't know how to deal with it when I was young. I didn't know what else to do.
“All I could think about was how depressed I was and I would just sit there and just constantly think about Jade.
“So I’d just have a drink every day, it would go from there.
“Then I’d get pictured having a drink and people would think I don't care about anything.
“I just didn't know how else to deal with it at that time. I didn't have a rule book to tell me how to deal with your wife dying.
“So I just lost control… My mum tried to get me into counselling, when you're that age, you don't listen to anyone.
“I’d just sit at home, think about Jade, start crying and then think the only thing to do was go out and drink vodka.
“I wish I didn't do that and I wish I dealt with it a different way.
“I still drink now but not every day – maybe once every couple of weeks or once a month.
“I started smoking weed after I stopped drinking, and I went through a stage where I got really, really depressed.
“I replaced the booze for weed and it took me a good four months to get rid of it, to get out of the habit of smoking every day – I was spending £100 a day.
“I was just blocking everything. I got to the stage where I was just so, so depressed and down and I just didn't know what to do with my life and I went to see my mum.
“I sat down with my mum for about four hours, just crying, thinking I just didn't want to be here anymore. I just wanted everything to end.
“I just didn't have any energy. All I could think about was committing suicide. I just wanted to just go asleep and not wake up.
“Just spending time with my mum. Basically, just going shopping, just to take my mind off everything and make me feel like I was half normal.
“And then that was it, I done that for a couple of months and then I started taking some anti-depressant tablets.
“I think I took them for like seven months, eight months and then that was it. And then since then, I wouldn't say I'm a hundred percent but I'm getting through. I'm not depressed anymore.”
Jack’s now a changed man and is working as an electrician – the job he did before meeting Jade.
Proud Jack says he’s been working every day during the pandemic.
“I can finally see light at the end of the tunnel now. Getting through this pandemic and getting there. I started working as an electrician again, at the beginning of lockdown.
“I have invested in a couple of businesses. I was an electrician before I met Jade so I have started that back up. I am enjoying it.
“I have still been able to work near enough the whole of lockdown.”
Last year Jack made a plea for his mother-in-law, Jade’s mum Jackiey Budden to get in touch.
He’s worried sick about the 63-year-old grandmother.
He said: “I still haven't heard from her. I've been trying to get a number to call her, but nobody has it.
"Last time I asked about her it was all really awkward. She's funny, Jackiey – I would love to talk to her again and make sure she's alright.
“My mate lives quite near her, so maybe I’ll just go and knock on the door the next time I’m there.”
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